CrossFit High...and Low

I might be taking baby steps, but it's a lot of baby steps in different areas, so I'm pretty excited about it. I've come home from a few workouts recently on a total high, like a runner's high but longer-lasting.

I think the two big things that stand in my way are my lack of flexibility and self-doubt. Despite the baby steps forward, I don't know why I still doubt myself all the time. I am not that way at work, and I know myself well enough to know how I feel about stuff (so usually doubt is a sign that something's not right). So why here? I've confused nervousness with doubt in the past, and now I can tell the difference. It's a sequence of feelings...nerves start in the stomach and then get in my head, but doubt starts in the head and travels everywhere else. I hear the doubt more often these days, and I'm not sure why. I don't feel like I'm past my rut just yet, but at this point it's purely mental.

Each day I go in trying to adopt a can-do attitude, and then I start the doubting...mix that with excitement and happiness to be there and you've got yourself a weird combo of feelings. 

Talking out nerves helps me, rather than staying quiet. If I get the nerves out in the universe, I get them away from me. However, I've been doing that with the doubt, and that's not the way to get it out of my mind. What I need to do is just say (to myself)...well...what can I say? It's never easy or not-tiring or not-challenging...so I feel like a fake saying something to the effect of I'm going to kick this WODs ass. Let's be honest, it's my ass that always gets kicked (but isn't that the whole point?). So what can I say? I guess it's a confidence thing. Must work on it! So feel free (any of you) to tell me to shut up and get moving. I suppose I should focus on the things I am getting better at (and just keep practicing the rest). At least the flexibility I work on more easily (though not, I repeat NOT, less painfully). Boy am I pathetic when it comes to stretching. I get stuck more often that I care to admit. Will be adding morning and night stretches to my day, dog obstacles and all.

In other news, I am a bit nervous to see the results of this Paleo Challenge. I have lost a bit of weight (but that wasn't really the goal, and I don't care about that), but what I really want to see is a lower body fat percentage and more muscle definition. I think (THINK) I'm starting to see that...which is kinda cool. I actually thought my arm was swollen the other day, but actually that's some muscle popping through (yes...laugh it up). I just had never noticed it before, so it surprised me. And officially, my favorite pair of jeans does not fit well any more. Sadness. My hands have also healed up and no longer hurt just gripping the bar (woo!). I think they've toughened up more too.

As far as food goes, I'm back on track this week. I got a crock pot and now have no idea how I ever lived without one. Especially for someone who really struggles to prepare meat well (I panic and overcook it, just in case...it also skeeves me out to handle a lot, though I'm getting better). I got it and threw in a piece of beef with some onions and spices, left it overnight, and bam! Um...I wanted to eat the whole two pounds right then and there. Holy crap. Paired some shredded beef with green beans for dinner that night.

I attempted to make "red velvet" cupcakes with beets and applesauce...but they turned out funky. I mean...the texture was awesome, and I liked the icing (who knew cashews could turn into icing???), but they still tasted like...beets. And I like beets, BUT, I wanted a cupcake. I successfully made yellow paleo cupcakes, but these I'm going to have to work on. Oh well! Live and learn.

It looked better than it tasted

 I also made some keylime pie that did turn out pretty good (I just wanted a lime-ier kick, so I'll add more lime juice next time). Tried out a pumpkin chocolate and lemon-blueberry tart as well. The crusts I winged and used a mix of finely ground walnuts and some almond meal mixed with coconut oil, cinnamon, and nutmeg. The pumpkin chocolate version had no added sugar at all (no honey, agave, fruit, etc.), but then I threw a few dark chocolate chips on top. The lemon-blueberry had a tsp. of honey in it, as did the keylime.

Oh, and beet and sweet potato chips with babaganoush is about the best little snack ever (after apples with almond butter).

Not a whole lot else to report at this point. I'm signed up for the CrossFit Open, which starts February 22nd, and is five weeks long with a new WOD each week. I can post my scores and see how I compare to the rest of the country. Should be fun! I'm planning to attend the CrossFit Games in July (the culmination of the Open, after Regionals, etc.) in California to see those incredible athletes compete. I'm already itching to compete again, so this will be a blast!

And finally...a big thank you to my fellow cross-fitters...you all are an amazing group of people, and I look forward to seeing everyone at the gym (and outside it) each week. 

WODfest and the Halfway Point

It's been four weeks since I started the Paleo challenge, and this past week was rough. Due to WODfest last Saturday the 28th (more on that soon), I spent Sunday catching up on sleep and taking care of my poor, sore body. This means I did not cook at all, and therefore had little food ready for the week ahead. Saturday's eating threw off my pattern (I snacked minimally all day and feasted late), and I barely ate Sunday. The entire week consisted of me piecing together bits of food to form meals (kind of), and for whatever reason, I was starving all week, but nothing was appealing. Because of this, I found it hard to eat, but then I'd get so hungry I'd need something immediately, and I didn't have much prepared, so I got to the point of being too hungry to eat. It was a bad, cyclical combo.

Protein balls (popular snack at WODfest)

Not only that, but I didn't sleep well (or enough), and the one day I got to the gym, we did the death by pullups wod, and my hands hurt just touching the bar. I spent most of the time trying to tape up more, but by minute ten, I had ripped and had to stop. I did my own home WOD on Thursday since I didn't want to get stuck in the snowstorm, and that was decent (other than tripping over my jump rope and dogs) at least. By Saturday, I had called the week a wash and decided it would be better to start fresh on Monday. At least I made one good dish this week!

Beef, zucchini, sweet potato casserole

I'm not sure why this week was so rough for me. I think I was still a little let down from Saturday's competition and let that get to me more than I should have. The actual competition, being there, having others from D-Town competing, supporters showing up...all of that was wonderful. I'd spend every Saturday like that if I could. It made me miss all of the competitions I used to go to (swim meets, horse shows, softball games, etc.) and how much I enjoy competition. The only competitive events I've done in the last seven or so years have been running races, and I'm typically flying solo on those. I go, I run, I leave. I'm not much of a "stay for the after party" kind of girl when I came alone in the first place. Running is solitary for me, and I prefer it that way, so it's hard for me to switch gears and become social after a race. This competition though, was a chance to meet other CrossFitters and also hang with and cheer on my fellow D-Towners.

After seeing the workouts posted on Tuesday (the 24th), I spazzed, realizing that all of the workouts were similar and had some of my weakest skills in them. I went back and forth and back and forth, and back and forth again about dropping down to the scaled weight division (instead of the prescribed weight division that I was in). I wanted to be competitive, and I knew I wouldn't be in prescribed weight, but since I was already signed up for it, I felt like I would be chickening out or giving up by dropping down to scaled (even though scaled is still a hell of a workout and NOT easy). After sending some panicked texts, and having nightmares about the WODs, I decided to stay at prescribed weight (Rx) even though I knew I probably wouldn't finish the workouts in the time allowed. I felt like I had trained for a half-marathon, but was signed up for a marathon. By that Friday, I had relaxed (outwardly) about the whole ordeal and figured it wouldn't kill me, either way. I just didn't want to be the jackass who couldn't finish while everyone else is done. Trainers assured me that I would not be the only one struggling. HA! is what I thought.

I won't into major detail about each workout, but I started at 8:15 a.m, poorly warmed up and nervous as hell. This workout I thought I'd at least finish, but I got stuck on round one with repeated efforts that weren't counted (some rightly so). I will say that at least I didn't lose my cool. I stayed smiling instead of crying or yelling, and despite my shoulder screaming in pain, I kept going. That I can be proud of, but I'm not proud of how crappy my form was and how slowly I moved.

Eeekk!

My second workout, I hit the ground running and pushed from the beginning. I got stuck on ring dips, which I knew would happen, but dammit, I finished the first round of them at least. It was really frustrating to get so close to some reps but not be able to lock out my arms that last bit. I was trying to push myself, but every time I was not "ready" but went for it anyways, I failed, so I got incredibly frustrated. I went from upset to angry within two dips.

Awesome bruising from ring dips

I was not about to be no-repped on thruster

By the third workout (around 4:00 p.m.), I was spent. I did my wall climbs, surprisingly well, and then got stuck on pullups, only finishing one at a time instead of linking them.

All in all, I was disappointed with my overall performance. I know I pushed myself, but I feel like I did it at all the wrong times, and wasn't able to when it mattered. I was incredibly proud of my teammates though. It was amazing to watch them push and compete like the beasts that they are. I have the utmost respect for each of them for their abilities and efforts. We also had about 15 people from D-Town show up just to support us, which was incredible. I would not have been as "composed" (HA) as I was without having all of them there. We all went to dinner afterwards (Fogo de Chao, compliments of D-Town's owner), and again it was great to be around such a fantastic group.

 *So this week, I'm starting over again. I have food prepared, a shopping list, and four days signed up in the gym. I'm also trying to get running back in the mix since that hasn't happened much since I started CrossFit, and I miss it. Maybe that will help clear my head and get back on track. 


P.S. I finally got up enough balls to shave down my calluses so I don't tear so much at the gym. AGH! Freaks me out.