I think the two big things that stand in my way are my lack of flexibility and self-doubt. Despite the baby steps forward, I don't know why I still doubt myself all the time. I am not that way at work, and I know myself well enough to know how I feel about stuff (so usually doubt is a sign that something's not right). So why here? I've confused nervousness with doubt in the past, and now I can tell the difference. It's a sequence of feelings...nerves start in the stomach and then get in my head, but doubt starts in the head and travels everywhere else. I hear the doubt more often these days, and I'm not sure why. I don't feel like I'm past my rut just yet, but at this point it's purely mental.
Each day I go in trying to adopt a can-do attitude, and then I start the doubting...mix that with excitement and happiness to be there and you've got yourself a weird combo of feelings.
Talking out nerves helps me, rather than staying quiet. If I get the nerves out in the universe, I get them away from me. However, I've been doing that with the doubt, and that's not the way to get it out of my mind. What I need to do is just say (to myself)...well...what can I say? It's never easy or not-tiring or not-challenging...so I feel like a fake saying something to the effect of I'm going to kick this WODs ass. Let's be honest, it's my ass that always gets kicked (but isn't that the whole point?). So what can I say? I guess it's a confidence thing. Must work on it! So feel free (any of you) to tell me to shut up and get moving. I suppose I should focus on the things I am getting better at (and just keep practicing the rest). At least the flexibility I work on more easily (though not, I repeat NOT, less painfully). Boy am I pathetic when it comes to stretching. I get stuck more often that I care to admit. Will be adding morning and night stretches to my day, dog obstacles and all.
In other news, I am a bit nervous to see the results of this Paleo Challenge. I have lost a bit of weight (but that wasn't really the goal, and I don't care about that), but what I really want to see is a lower body fat percentage and more muscle definition. I think (THINK) I'm starting to see that...which is kinda cool. I actually thought my arm was swollen the other day, but actually that's some muscle popping through (yes...laugh it up). I just had never noticed it before, so it surprised me. And officially, my favorite pair of jeans does not fit well any more. Sadness. My hands have also healed up and no longer hurt just gripping the bar (woo!). I think they've toughened up more too.
As far as food goes, I'm back on track this week. I got a crock pot and now have no idea how I ever lived without one. Especially for someone who really struggles to prepare meat well (I panic and overcook it, just in case...it also skeeves me out to handle a lot, though I'm getting better). I got it and threw in a piece of beef with some onions and spices, left it overnight, and bam! Um...I wanted to eat the whole two pounds right then and there. Holy crap. Paired some shredded beef with green beans for dinner that night.
I attempted to make "red velvet" cupcakes with beets and applesauce...but they turned out funky. I mean...the texture was awesome, and I liked the icing (who knew cashews could turn into icing???), but they still tasted like...beets. And I like beets, BUT, I wanted a cupcake. I successfully made yellow paleo cupcakes, but these I'm going to have to work on. Oh well! Live and learn.
|It looked better than it tasted|
Oh, and beet and sweet potato chips with babaganoush is about the best little snack ever (after apples with almond butter).
Not a whole lot else to report at this point. I'm signed up for the CrossFit Open, which starts February 22nd, and is five weeks long with a new WOD each week. I can post my scores and see how I compare to the rest of the country. Should be fun! I'm planning to attend the CrossFit Games in July (the culmination of the Open, after Regionals, etc.) in California to see those incredible athletes compete. I'm already itching to compete again, so this will be a blast!
And finally...a big thank you to my fellow cross-fitters...you all are an amazing group of people, and I look forward to seeing everyone at the gym (and outside it) each week.