Love Fest

I am ill-prepared for this. This kind of...haunting. I say haunting because to me that word means a lingering feeling that does not manifest or become tangible, but it's noticeably there, like an invisible hand on my shoulder. I am haunted by a variety of complex love. It's almost painful to love like this and still have more to give.

I love my life.

I love the endless things that make me happy.

I love...

1. Waking up to a snow-covered morning.
2. Being the first one on a trail for the day.
3. Blue sky.
4. Fresh-baked banana nut muffins.
5. Random, I'm thinking about you texts.
6. Singing in the car.
7. The smell of a horse's muzzle.
8. The feeling of skin after a sugar scrub.
9. Back rubs.
10. Smoke curling out of chimneys.
11. Grey sweaters.
12. <3
13. Knowing the mountains are west, whether I can see them or not.
14. Smooth plane landings.
15. Caramel macchiatos.
16. Moccasins.
17. Clinking of masts on the lake.
18. The texture of book pages.
19. Soup and a warm baguette.
20. Fixing something with my own hands.
21. Pausing to enjoy the moment.
22. Bathing suits.
23. Sentimental knick-knacks.
24. The smell of pine trees.
25. Holidays.
26. Baby animals.

27. Blankets.
28. Bear hugs.
29. Watching break-dancing.
30. When Pumba bird-calls.
31. A healthy argument.
32. Weird bruises.
33. Nice people.
34. Finding my way.
35. Real movies, with endings that simply taper off rather than tie everything up.
36. Waterfalls.

37. Kissing.
38. Cupcakes.
39. Cards in the mail.
40. Healing wounds.
41. Fuji apples.
42. Board games.
43. Being obsessed with a song, and listening to it on repeat.
44. Flirting.
45. Righting a wrong.
46. Enjoying being lost.
47. Short dresses.
48. Being sore after a workout.
49. Remembering wisps of a dream.
50. Great-fitting jeans.
51. When it's cold, so I can get warm.
52. Affligem Blond.
53. Trusting someone.
54. Finding friends for life.
55. Horses running.
56. Re-reading childhood books.
57. Making someone smile.
58. Stone bridges.
59. Over-sized easy chairs.
60. Feeling as if you matter.
61. Sudden rainstorms.
62. The Giver.

63. Ridiculously soft sheets.
64. Cribbage.
65. Writing a particularly good sentence.
66. Black and white photos.
67. Contradictions.
68. Sailing.
69. First stretches of the morning.
70. Fire opals.
71. Garlic Parmesan fries.
72. Winning.
73. Songs that make you feel.
74. Sunrise.
75. Being tired for a good reason.
76. Wordplay.
77. Connections.
78. Snowflakes on eyelashes.
79. Schaudenfraude when deserved.
80. Roses.

81. Bombing jokes.
82. Being able to believe, just because.
83. Ryan Reynolds.
84. The idea of reincarnation.
85. Madrid.
86. Giving into a craving.
87. Old English.
88. Cute boys.
89. Secrets.
90. Having my hair brushed of my forehead.
91. Italian accents.
92. Overcoming a fear.
93. That's what she said.
94. The number 17.
95. Deja vu.
96. Feeling powerful.
97. Hot tubs.
98. Shakespeare.
99. Smiling when alone.
100. Laughing out loud.
101. ...and so many more...

New year, new...

Helloooo 2011.

What is the significance of a new year? It's just more days, laid out, one after another, same as before but always different. It's an excuse in the horizon..."this year I'll..." and having to remember to write another set of digits at the end of a date that we're not used to.

But I suppose with a new year, you can officially label all things of the previous year in the past. Last year is so much further in the past than yesterday, or last week, or last month. Last year sounds more foreign, and the events of such smear together. Of course, there are always those events that still stick out and play repeatedly in your mind, sometimes annoyingly so. 2010 gave me quite a few of these memories, both good and bad, but I'm taking them all as good. At least, I am now!

2010 highlights:
*Getting out of a bad relationship: even though I still regret I didn't get to pull the plug.
*Starting a new job that I love and plan to stick with for a long time. It's a relief to not dread going to work every day, and even though there will always be rough days, the times where I get to make a difference (cheesy as that sounds) give me the energy to keep going.
*Running a 5k, a 10k, and then a half-marathon within two months of each other. I think the half-marathon suits me!
*Figuring out what I want out of life. Certain aches make me realize what is most important to me, and now I can set my sights on making sure I fulfill these needs.
*Getting Toby back in shape and back to jumping: riding is true therapy for me.
*Realizing that I have an amazing group of friends. Both here and elsewhere, my eclectic bunch of friends are truly family to me, and it's exciting to be gaining more.

2011 plans:
*Running at least three half-marathons this year.
*Hopefully getting picked to run the Dipsea in California.
*Re-writing my novel: last year's schedule got supremely upset by events and reorganization, but I'm set to be back on track now.
*Spending more time with my amazing friends and remembering that I enjoy being non-reclusive more often that I realize.
*Fully embracing my new job as a career, and doing my best to make us top notch.
*Taking more risks and challenges aside from the every day: ie not being afraid to fail.

So there you go readers. If you see me slacking off, call me out on it!

<3 to all,

E