It's no secret that I like to plan. I can be flexible, and I can "go with the flow," but I'm a planner through and through.
It seems I have planned myself into a corner...covering each day with activities and things I must do to reach the next goal (plan). I guess I forgot that I need some semblance of a "life" too, but isn't all of this business life?
I'm getting better at enjoying the moment. Every day I do at least one thing that I'm not in a hurry to finish or where I'm not thinking ahead, but just living in the moment and enjoying it. I'm becoming less impatient in lines, more relaxed amongst crowds, etc. So all of that is good.
I still can't help but plan. Some plans are merely dreams, some are hopes, and some interminable thoughts that I can only watch unfold. I wonder how adaptable I will be to big changes ahead that I am unable to plan for completely. I don't know where I'm going to be in a year, and it's a bit scary to know that I could be leaving a place that makes me happy. However, I'm more than willing to go. Because I'll have something else that will make me even happier. A place can't replace a person, no matter which way you spin it.
I wonder why it's often easier to describe what you don't want as opposed to what you do want? It's not negative...I actually think that opens up more possibilities. If you rule out what you don't want, then what's left is a possibility of what you do want. If you know exactly what you want, then you have a single goal and everything else is the negative. Personally, I like the former ratio better.
I know what I don't want, so I'm open to seeing what will fill my want. I'm interested in so many things, so who knows how many of them I can cram into my space of fulfillment.
That must be why it's scarier to know exactly what you want, because then everything else threatens to take it away. If you want one thing, and it's gone, then what? There's one thing I want that is quite possible, probable even, but it's terrifying to think it could be lost.
I try not to think that way. Instead, I plan for a dream, hoping it will become a reality, but knowing that the plan to get to that reality may not happen. I'm content with that thought. I just need the reality, but I'm not picky as to how I get there.
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it's so dang corny, but i'm a believer in the idea that things happen for a reason. no matter which way your life turns, it's meant to be. isn't that an uplifting thought? best of luck to you, fellow. namesake.
ReplyDeleteI've always believed too that everything happens for a reason. I've always been prone to go with the flow, although planning often happens. I just don't let a change of plans stress me. (I thank my dad for this - his laid back personality has rubbed off on me.) However, I'm also learning now especially to figure out what I don't want and fill that "want" void with many wonderful things. I've always been the girl who knew exactly what she wanted and I went for it. And I almost always got it because I worked hard for it. But as a married woman who may or may not have children now, I'm learning to accept that some of my "dreams" may not turn out, but in place of them I may get something even better that had never occurred to me. It's hard, but life is good. :) I hope you find all you dream of.
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