It's that time of year again?

Holy crapping reindeer! Christmas is once again, just a few weeks away. I missed Thanksgiving...not really sure what went on there, but it just slipped right by me. As has much these past few weeks, well months really. I feel like I'm in the middle of a hurricane personified. My to-do list is growing, but I can't seem to get things checked off fast enough.

I did finally start my Christmas shopping (now I say finally because last year I was done at the beginning of November...and by done I mean I didn't have to shop anymore...but that never stops me). A lot of things just fell into place on that particular list this year, but I'm still debating over some other stuff. I wandered through the mall, and let me tell you how much it sucked to see stuff to get for someone who is no longer in my life. Dammit! It make me convulse in anger. I am still so, so angry. I guess that's why when a friend wanted me to meet one of his friends, I said no. Have anger, will not travel.

Despite that, I'm making lists of things I want to cook and marking my calendar for dates when my family will visit and when I'll get together with some old friends. This is the only time of year when a city is appealing to me because the lights outline the buildings and wreathes are on every streetlamp and the smell of fires and cinnamon and ginger is in the air. And snow dusts the ground...right? Hear that Colorado? I said SNOW dusts the ground? Where are we on that?

Now that I've said that it will probably blizzard...or else go back to the 70s out of spite. Oh well. I'll take what I can get.

I have not decorated yet. This was my first weekend in six weeks that I was not only off of work, but alone. Not that I didn't adore having company (I did!!!), but that combined with weeks of working 6 or 7 days while trying to keep up with rest and such really did me in. I haven't had time lately to be alone and in my own thought. It's been a great distraction, but I feel like I've forgotten how to be alone and comfortable in my own thoughts, and I really need to get back to enjoying listening to myself think (in the least narcissistic way possible). I've worn myself out for the past few months to keep from thinking too much, but it's time to get back to it. Even reading my blogs from earlier in the year or last year, I can hear the difference in my thought pattern. My thoughts then were freer, more contemplative, whereas currently they are scattered and existing in the now, as I scramble to hang onto it all.

See? Here I was talking about Christmas and then I'm just rambling about my internal diatribe...which has been oddly colorful lately (I usually think/dream in black and white)...
...back to Christmas...

I read the most wonderful quote about Christmas:

Christmas Eve was the time when everybody was unselfish. On that one night, Santa Claus was everywhere, because everybody, all together, stopped being selfish and wanted other people to be happy. And in the morning you saw what that had done.

To me, that's what Christmas is about...what great big things can happen when people come together. If I ever have a child, I will surely read them this bit (and a beer or cupcake to anyone who can tell me what that quote is from).

image from warwickwa.com

Get ready for some more Christmasy posts to follow, and please enjoy the season! It's just not worth being crabby about it.