A very Merry Christmas, indeed!

Just a quick note to all my friends and family, near and far, whether we talk frequently or not: I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas surrounded by those you love. I certainly did. My first Christmas in Colorado turned out to be a day I will remember fondly for years to come.

First we tortured the dogs:


Then we went on a great walk in the snow at the dog park:


And finally came home to eat our pizza and watch old Christmas movies. How did Home Alone and The Santa Claus become old? I think the last great Christmas movie made was Love Actually in 2003, but that's not a family/kid friendly movie. Ah well.

It's time to call it a night and slip between my furry blankets and dogs to find a contented, warm sleep that will sink me into sweet dreams tonight. I feel so much love from my family and friends (and I'm not talking in gifts, but in pure enjoyment of spending time together) that I feel I could explode. It's wonderful.

Peace and love to all.

Merry Christmas!

I don't think I've been this content in quite a while. There's something to be said for a cozy winter evening spent with family, curled up in front of a movie.

My dad got here safely today, Mom's been here shopping and cooking and helping my sick little self out all week, and we just finished watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. I can't believe that movie is 20 years old, yet still highly amusing. My favorite part is the bit with the squirrel. How hysterical for everyone to be that freaked out by the squirrel, only to have it land on Clark's back and jounce around in time to his high-stepping madness. Ha! So it's about 8:30 pm, and we're already winding down for the night. It's quite cold out, and T.S. is snuggled in the crook of my legs, Pumba is gumming (as usual), and we have no lights on but the Christmas bulbs. I hate to go to bed because I want this feeling to last, but at the same time, the sooner I sleep, the sooner it will be Christmas!



I simply can't wait for morning when my parents can open their presents, and when I know my friends are all with their families enjoying the special morning as well. It makes me feel all tingly inside. I'm so thrilled we have a white Christmas here! Thanks Colorado for arranging that :-)

Tomorrow promises to be as merry as the wishes go.

Are your stockings hung by the chimney with care? Are you hoping St. Nick will soon be here?

I can almost hear the sleigh bells now...

On that note, if you lived in my neighborhood with me when I was younger, you have heard sleigh bells for real. No, you were not imagining things. That was my mother, who used to run up and down the streets at night with bells. So when your parents told you later that a certain fat man was not, in fact, real, and you thought, wait...I know I heard...

You did.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE <3

Much love,
E

A titleless post

I started a post, I didn't title it, and now I cannot remember what its purpose was. So I will start again.

Sidebar to start: I just dropped off A at the bus station. It's not much fun going to work right after because I don't get a chance to just be cranky about it for a little bit. I have to go pretend not to be cranky, which only makes me (you guessed it!) crankier. Ah well. I see him in two weeks again! Most face time we've had in six months, so I'm happy!

Back to the topic at hand: Christmas! (I just decided that.) The tree is staying green and alive. I've been really good about watering it every day. It's completely decorated and shiny; makes my apartment smell like, well, like Christmas. Now if only I could get my gifts wrapped, I'd be set.

***Several days have gone by since I started this post. My brain has ceased to think in words, making it incredibly difficult to write in this space, but I'm happy to say I've been able to write in a fictional space, and I am pleased with the results.

Is it possible to be in love with one's own words? In my most recent short story, "Black & Blue," I wrote the single best line I think I've ever written. I won't even post it here, but this line just resonates with my being, as if it's a perfectly fitted suit, so perfect you can't tell it's even there. It's almost a stillness, or a moment when all you can hear is the sound of snowflakes layering on the grass. I want to keep it to myself and not ruin it with others' thoughts. This won't be possible if I plan to submit the story, but for now I can revel in its purity.



photo courtesy of Jim Somerville

Oh the weather outside is...

CHILLY!

To say the least. This is my morning so far:


Safe to say this is the coldest it's ever been in the 2+ years I've lived here. Honestly though? I don't think it feels much different than 20 degrees. Sure, it's cold. So you layer up and get moving! I'm still running, still taking the pups out. The only difference is the addition of warmer gloves, another layer of pants and a scarf. And of course, Pumba's blanket. She gets cold!



But T.S. loves this weather. Even though the snow seems to hurt his feet at random times. He hobbles like an old man every other morning, that is until I let him off leash and he races through the snow with his mouth open. He'll still pose for a picture though, even with the snow beckoning.



Good boy.

Speaking of which...in a round-about way, I finally decorated my apartment last night! I have garlands and lights and figurines and stockings abound! I also happened upon Pumba's Mrs. Claus outfit and T.S.'s reindeer ensemble. They (not too unhappily) wore these while I danced around to Mannheim Steamroller and Trans-Siberian Orchestra's Christmas music. Let me tell you, it's not easy to balance on a rolling, swiveling chair while trying to hang lights. Don't try this at home kids! I came away with only one bruise, so I consider myself lucky.

Another semi-related note is that BBE aka A is coming to town on FRIDAY! And I have him for five whole days. It will be really REALLy nice to just hang out and be "normal." Okay, so that term likely does not apply to us, but I'm speaking in terms of how we are already.

And <3. After that my mom will be here, shortly followed by my dad and CHRISTMAS DAY! Ah, the holidays. This is the only one I truly get excited about, the only one I decorate for, and the only one that makes me yearn for family. I love my family all of the time, and I keep in regular contact with them, but Christmas just isn't Christmas unless we are together. It's too bad BBE can't be here too because I would love to curl up in front of the fire and watch a movie with lights and garlands twinkling at us from all corners of the room. Maybe next year... Wishing all of my friends and family safe travels and much love.

Christmas Hilarity!

This is utterly hilarious. Many thanks to BBE for the much-needed amusement today! I'm not sure if I think it's funny because people are so uptight and this is awesome, or because if you do not like Christmas, this is a funny way to express it rather than with complaints. Either way...I basically convulsed upon reading and viewing this:

“Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after two days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories. But two things made me take it down.

First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by.

Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn’t realize that it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy). By the way, she was one of the many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn’t take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard.”



The original link is: http://wtfcalls.net/reddit/xmas_light_wtf.php

Christmas Arbor-trary Dilemma

I do not know where to put my tree.

But this is the least of my problems. I found the perfect tree at Home Depot the other day, but didn't have time to nab it and run. It was still there when I revisited the store the following day, but I still had quite a few errands to run, and I didn't want the poor tree to be bashed about for hours on end. Also, upon closer inspection, I realized the "perfect" tree had little chunks missing out of some lower branches and that it was already cut and in a stand. I wondered if this would affect how long the tree would live, so I read the "care for you tree" tag, and it listed a dozen or so things to do to keep the tree alive. This included cutting two inches off the bottom just before putting it in the stand, and that's when I panicked.

I am about the worst plant keeper you'll ever meet. I can kill a cactus in a month. So how am I supposed to keep a whole tree alive for the next 20 days? Okay, so the simple solution would be to just wait to get a tree until Christmas is closer. Easy. But...I want to get my full enjoyment of said tree. Since I'm leaving after Christmas to celebrate New Years in San Diego, I'll have to take the tree down (or put it on my porch) before I leave. So I want the tree to fill my apartment with festive cheer for as long as possible.

For the past two years, I've gotten a tiny potted tree, but since my parents will be here this year, I want the real deal. I could get a larger potted tree, but I don't know if I like the look of the tree in a large pot. Plus, they all tilted to the extreme. So I think I want a mid-sized tree to put in a stand, but that goes back to me having to keep the thing alive until Christmas. Then there's the problem of placement. I originally wanted the tree to be in my large window, so that between that and the porch lights, I'd have a whole Christmas scene. However, this is rather near the fireplace (which I don't use, but will inevitably use on Christmas). And by near, I mean three feet between the two, but still. I'm paranoid. Plus that would block my dvds, which we'll need on Christmas Day. So now I'm thinking of moving the game stand that's by my t.v., and putting the tree between the t.v. and my bedroom door. This could work provided the tree isn't too chubby. Or I could block my desk area with it, but then I won't be able to get to my new computer that will be put together next weekend.

I wonder if I could hang it from the ceiling...



And on another note, it's snowing, and anyone who knows me knows how much I dread driving in the snow. So it's looking like it will be Tuesday or Wednesday until I can go safely transport a tree back to my less-than-tree-friendly apartment. The snow is severely cutting into my Christmas tree enjoyment time, but it sure does get me in the Christmas spirit! Ah well, it's time to decorate!

image courtesy of bootsnail

Frequencies

Due to a conversation with a co-worker (and when I say co-worker, I always mean friend as well, for these folks are all good friends, all four of them), regarding Obama's speech on Afghanistan, I began to think of how people (mainly myself) operate on different frequencies and how we're able to -or perhaps, culpable of- tun/e(ing) in and out, much like a radio as you drive along the mountain range, picking up stations as you go.

For example: I operate on a frequency that is highly internal, almost selfish I suppose in the sense that I am always thinking about how I am thinking and how I can apply what I think and why I think like so to my life. It's quite fascinating. I think more about me because I can figure myself out or at least be satisfied with the unknown, whereas having this same fascination with another person's thoughts would be both presumptuous and fruitfully endless. I will never understand exactly how another person thinks because I am not capable of being in someone else's brain. I'm fine with this, but it makes me sound self-absorbed, which is an entirely other topic of conversation considering I believe you have to be selfish and confident (not outwardly, but privately) in order to achieve goals, especially if you find your energies and power from within rather than from an outside source. But this is all beside the point.

My internal frequency notices things about how I am thinking, reacting, moving, expressing, etc. I notice what causes me to have a genuine smile that is natural as opposed to one that I create because it seems appropriate. I notice what other thoughts (in/external) cause me to leap from one topic to another in my head, and I notice what thoughts I voice and what thoughts I automatically keep hidden. That is one of my strongest frequencies: being tuned in to myself. I think this is important because for a long time I did not know what made me happy or sad or angry or how to figure this out. I guess that comes with age. While I still don't know what will, in the future, make me happy (or sad or angry, etc.), I at least have a semblance of an idea.

A second frequency I am highly attuned to is the kindness frequency. I notice acts of kindness wherever they are, large or small. Several days ago, I watched a young man (high school age?) keep a door held open for a family that was struggling across the parking lot with three children in tow. He was not part of their clan, nor would he have been rude to go inside without holding the door since he was well ahead of them, but nevertheless he waited, and then simply went on his way. Yes, this is a simple, small act of kindness, but I see these things and pick up on them from great distances, as if my kindness frequency waves extend farther than others.

In the same respect, I have a jacka** frequency that spots completely jerk moves from miles away. I have absolutely no patience for people who are purposefully ignorant or jerktastic for their own self-absorbed reasons. If you make a mistake and you honestly didn't mean to do it, apologize. That I can handle (though sometimes I feel like it's an abuse of the whole "better to ask for forgiveness than permission" bit...). But I do not for a second believe that a person really thought s/he was turning right and ended up needing to turn left and therefore feels it is his/her right to butt into the left-hand turn lane and not only block the right-turners, but hold up the left turners as well. Nice try buddy...

I suppose these add up to my awareness of people and my surroundings. I am forever thinking about how I am affecting the people around me. Will it kill me to make small talk with cashier? No. So I do because it might just make his/her day that much better. Sometimes I wish I could lower this frequency of mine and be blissfully unaware for a spell, but such is not the case.

There are frequencies I would like to develop and maintain that only operate on a low level right now. I'd like to reach a global frequency, to tune into the daily occurrences of people in other countries. This is a frequency I will have to purposefully establish. There are those who are drawn to the global frequency (whether it be through history, politics, literature, cooking, etc.) that do so automatically. I, however, will have to work to make this frequency audible to me. The obvious conductor for this frequency is literature, for me, so I plan to revisit my worldly literature first, and the go about reconnecting, or simply connecting with another region. It's far too easy for me to distance myself from other realities, and remain within my own, so this will be my reaching out.

More on frequencies later...my thoughts have run out of words to match.



image by questgarden

Tis the Season to be Jolly!

While I am first to admit this current/upcoming season brings out the worst in people, I'll also say that it brings out the best in me. This is my absolute favorite time of year. Who wouldn't love a time that makes them giddy and frantic with joy? I literally have my Christmas decorations and music sitting out, waiting for Thanksgiving to be over. Somehow (even for me, Ms. Christmas 2009) I can't bring myself to decorate or listen to Mannheim Steamroller until Thanksgiving has passed. It feels like cheating on another holiday. I mean, just because my Thanksgiving spirit has waned over the years doesn't mean it deserves to be brushed aside. I simply haven't had a traditional Thanksgiving in, well, this will be five years in a row, and I've never cared for the copious amounts of food and football that is involved. So without family around to enjoy the day with, it's become a personal holiday of mine. Instead of eating and chatting with family, I use the time to escape to the outdoors and breathe in the moments of peace before the chaotic Christmas crunch ensues.

Even though several friends kindly invited me to their Thanksgiving celebration, I prefer to spend the time alone. It's my own ritual that I will be more than happy to break when I have the chance, but for now it suits me. Despite my reluctance to join other families for Thanksgiving, I must say there is nothing like feeling cozy and included in a family willing to offer a meal, a chair, and some conversation to a stranger simply because another family member asked. It's so easy to say yes around the holidays. I think that's why I love this season. It turns me from a 50/50 yes/no sayer to a 100% yes woman. Not to sound trite, but the season really does remind me how fortunate I am, and while I understand this the rest of the year and try to show it where I can, the Christmas season asks me for a little bit more, and I gladly give it.

It's also the time of year that I get to spoil my loved ones. No, I do not think an expensive gift equates more love. That's not it at all. It's more of how much thought has been put into said gift or gesture. I save all year to make sure I can spoil my parents on Christmas. The more they say they don't need anything, the more I search for something they would never ever get for themselves. Especially now that I only see them a few times a year, I feel the need to show them that even if I'm incommunicado for a while, they are on my mind. I adore spending hours researching online or meandering through crowded malls to find that perfect sentiment. Normally I'm not a shopping fanatic, but during Christmas time? Look out. I'm never done (even if I say I am). Not only do I get to seek out a treasure for a loved one, but I get to be super nice in the process! It's not an act, I swear. In general, I'm fairly patient and kind to those stuck working in retail. I know how hectic and crazy it can get, and I like making people smile by actually talking to them rather ignoring their existence. And during the Christmas season, I'm just glowing with joy. If it takes twelve times as long to get something, I just smile and calmly wait it out. Other people start to stamp their feet or check their watches, and I chat them up, watching their impatience turn to amusement. I figure, if I'm ridiculously nice to everyone in that mess of chaos, then one of two things will happen:

1. The people I come into contact with will lighten up and turn their grouchiness into smiles.
                                                                or
2. The people I come into contact with will hate the fact that someone else is cheery and it will make them even crankier.

So either way I win. Because if I can make someone's day just a smidge better, then I'm overjoyed. If not, then that person probably deserves to be cranky and that just fuels my wide grin. Perhaps there's a bit of schadenfreude there, but what can I say? It's not as if I'm going around be fakely nice to everyone I meet. I simply can't help it. Blame the crisp air or sweet crumbles of Christmas baked goods. Blame the overplayed Christmas music that I hum along to. Blame the blinding tinsel and wrapping bits that I turn into collage style wrapping paper. And guess what? Your scrooge-like attitude is my high wattage, so bring it on!

I am certain I'll be posting more about the Christmas season as it unfolds, but for now I will just say that above anything else, Christmas means family to me. It's a time of warmth, generosity, and taking pleasure in one another 's company without agenda. 'Tis the season y'all!



photo source: teachyourselfturkish

solitary thought...

...can drive a person mad. Lately I've been thinking, more so than usual, and these thoughts seem to evaporate into space before I can wrangle them into some shape of text. So here I am, becoming a blogger (gads!) despite my previous contempt for the blog-o-spheric kingdom. It's not that I have something against this form of writing. It's more of a discontent-ness with the constant dribble that I see on blogs:

"Fed the cat 2day," (woop de do for you), "I feel so unhappy with myself and I hate it," (may I suggest a short walk and a sudden drop?), or "I saw _______ the movie last night and I thought it was sooo good. Like it was funny and that actor is soooo cute," (...).

Not to mention the extremely personal blogs that detail events that no one wants to read about. Of course, no one is forcing anyone else to read these blogs (thank goodness), but is nothing sacred anymore? Does every blessed detail of life need to be recorded in some way for the world to witness? I think not. And therefore, I can't say how often I will post blogs. Likely I will post when thoughts strike me and run through my head like honey slowly coating the insides of my brain. I will not post about how miserable I might be, how I feel about the economy, or what I did throughout my entire day.

The blog that inspired me is the blog of a friend from school, my namesake companion and future Mrs. W. Her blog details humor, offbeat thought, and simple marvels at the world around her. I can appreciate that kind of post. The pure enjoyment I get from reading her notes is enough to make me fancy my own thoughts and wonder what they look like in text rather than only swirling around in my head (other than the warped versions that appear in whatever story(ies) I happen to be cultivating at the moment).

In other words, stay tuned?